A poet had a cat.
There is nothing odd in that
(I might make a little pun about the Mews!)
But what is really more
Remarkable, she wore
A pair of pointed patent-leather shoes.
And 1 doubt
me greatly whether
You have
heard the like of that:
Pointed
shoes of patent-leather
On a cat!
His time he used to pass
Writing sonnets, on the grass
(I might say something good on pen and sward!)
While the cat
sat near at hand,
Trying hard to understand
The poems he occasionally roared.
(I myself
possess a feline,
But when
poetry 1 roar
He is sure
to make a bee-line
For the
door.)
The poet, cent by cent, .All his patrimony spent
(I might tell how he went from verse to worse!)
Till the cat
was sure she could, ~ By advising, do him good.
So
addressed him in a manner that was terse:
"We
are bound toward the scuppers,
And the
time has come to act,
Or we'll
both be on our uppers
For a
fact!"
On her boot she fixed her eye, But the boot made no reply
(I might say: "Couldn't speak to save its sole!")
And the foolish bard, instead
Of responding, only read
A verse that wasn't bad upon the whole.
And it
pleased the cat so greatly,
Though she
knew not what it meant,
That I'll
quote approximately
How it
went:
"If I should live to be
The last leaf upon the tree"
(I might put in: "I think I'd just as leaf!")
"Let them smile, as I do now,
At the old forsaken bough"
Well, he'd plagiarized it bodily, in brief!
But that
cat of simple breeding
Couldn't
read the lines between,
So she
took it to a leading Magazine.
She was jarred and very sore
When they showed her to the door.
(I might hit off the door that was a jar!)
To the spot she
swift returned
Where the poet sighed and yearned,
And she told him that he'd gone a little far.
"Your
performance with this rhyme has
Made me
absolutely sick,"
She
remarked. "I think the time has
Come to
kick!"
I could fill up half the page
With descriptions of her rage
(I might say that she went a bit too fur!)
When he smiled
and murmured: "Shoo!" "There is one thing I can do!"
She answered with a wrathful kind of purr.
"Y ou
may shoe me, an it suit you,
But I feel
my conscience bid
Me, as tit
for tat, to boot you!"
(Which she
did.)
The Moral of the plot (Though I say it, as should not!)
Is: An editor is difficult to suit. But again there're other
times When the man who fashions rhymes
Is a
rascal, and a bully one to boot!