Slide Kelly Slide

I played a game of baseball, I belong to Casey's Nine,
 The crowd was feeling jolly, and the weather it was fine;
A nobler lot of players I think were never found.
 When the omnibuses landed that day upon the ground,
The game was quickly started, they sent me to the bat;
 I made two strikes. Says Casey, "What are you striking at?"
I made the third, the catcher muffed, and to the ground it fell;
 I run like a devil to first base, when the gang began to yell:

Chorus:
Slide, Kelly, slide! Your running's a disgrace!
Slide, Kelly, slide! Stay there, hold your base!
If someone doesn't steal you, and your batting doesn't fail you,
 They'll take you to Australia! Slide, Kelly, slide!

'Twas in the second inning they called me in, I think,
To take the catcher's place, while he went to take a drink;
 But something was the matter, sure I couldn't see the ball;
 And the second one that came in, broke my muzzle, nose and all.
 The crowd up in the grandstand they yelled with all their might,
 I ran towards the club house. I thought there was a fight.
 'Twas the most unpleasant feeling I ever felt before,
I knew they had me rattled, when the gang began to roar:

(Chorus)

They sent me out to center field, I didn't want to go,
The way my nose was swelling up, I must have been a show;
 They said on me depended victory or defeat.
If a blind man were to look at us he'd know that we were beat.
 "Sixty-four to nothing!" was the score when we got done,
And ev'rybody there but me said they had lots of fun.
The news got home ahead of me, they heard I was knocked out,
 The neighbors carried me in the house, and then began to shout:

(Chorus)

J. W. Kelly