My Mother Was A Lady, or If Only Jack Were Here

Two drummers sat at dinner, in a grand hotel one day,
While dining they were chatting in a jolly sort of way,
And when a pretty waitress brought them a tray of food,
They spoke to her familiarly in a manner rather rude;
At first she did not notice them or make the least reply,
But one remark was passed that brought the tear drops to her eye.
And facing her tormentor, with cheeks now burning red,
She looked a perfect picture as appealingly she said:

Chorus:
"My mother was a lady-like yours you will allow,
And you may have a sister, who needs protection now,
I've come to this great city to find a brother dear,
And you wouldn't dare insult me, Sir, if Jack were only here."

It's true one touch of nature, it makes the whole world kin,
And ev'ry word she uttered seemed to touch their hearts within,
They sat there stunned and silent, until one cried in shame,
"Forgive me, Miss! I meant no harm, pray tell me what's your name?"
She told him and he cried again, "I know your brother, too,
 Why we've been friends for many years and he often speaks of you,
He'll be glad to see you, and if you'll only wed,
I'll take you to him as my wife, for I love you since you said:

(Chorus.)

Edward B. Marks