The great antiquity of Nothing is apparent from its
being so visible in the accounts we Have of the beginning of every nation. This
is very plainly to be discovered in the first pages, and sometimes books, of
all general historians; and, indeed, the study of this important subject fills
up the whole life of an antiquary, it being always at the bottom of his inquiry,
and is commonly at last discovered by him with infinite labour and pains.
As
it is extremely hard to define Nothing in positive terms, I shall therefore do
it in negative. Nothing, then, is not Something. And here I must object to a
third error concerning it, which is, that it is in no place-which is an
indirect way of depriving it of its existence; whereas, indeed, it possesses
the greatest and noblest place upon this earth, viz., the human brain. But,
indeed, this mistake has been sufficiently refuted by many very wise men, who,
having spent their whole lives in the contemplation and pursuit of Nothing,
have at last gravely concluded that there is Nothing in this world.
Farther, as Nothing is not Something, so everything
which is not Something is Nothing; and wherever Something is not, Nothing is-a
very large allowance in its favour, as must appear to persons well skilled in
human affairs.
For instance, when a bladder is full of wind, it is
full of Something; but when that is let out we aptly say that there is Nothing
in it. The same may be as justly asserted of a man as of a bladder. However
well he may be bedaubed with lace or with title, yet if he have not Something
in him we may predicate the same of him as of an empty bladder. . . .
Nothing may be seen, as is plain from the relation of
persons who have recovered from high fevers, and perhaps may be suspected from
some, at least, of those who have seen apparitions, both on earth and in the
clouds. Nay, I have often -heard it confessed by men, when asked what they saw.
at such a place and time, that they saw Nothing. . . .
Nothing may be heard, of which the same proofs may be
given as of the foregoing. That Nothing may be tasted and smelt, is not only
known to persons of delicate palates and nostrils. How commonly do we hear that
such a thing smells or tastes of Nothing! The latter I have heard asserted of a
dish composed of five or six savoury ingredients. . . .
Some have felt the motions of the spirit, and others
have felt very bitterly the misfortunes of their friends, without endeavouring
to relieve them. Now, there seem two plain instances that Nothing is an object
of this sense. Nay, I have heard a surgeon declare, while he was cutting off a
patient's leg, that he was sure he felt Nothing.
Nothing is as well the object of our passions as our
senses. Thus, there are many who love Nothing, some who hate Nothing, and some
who fear Nothing, etc. Some have imagined that Knowledge, with the adjective human
placed before' it, is another word for Nothing. And one of the wisest men
in the world declared that he knew Nothing. But, without carrying it so far,
this, I believe, may be allowed, that it is at least possible for a man to
know Nothing. And whoever hath read over many works of our ingenious moderns,
with proper attention and emolument, will, I believe, confess that, if he
understands them right, he understands Nothing. . . .
I remember once, at the table of a person of great
eminence, and one no less distinguished by superiority of wit than fortune,
when a very dark passage was read out of a poet famous for being so sublime
that he is often out of the sight of his reader, some persons present declared
that they did not understand the meaning. The gentleman himself, casting his
eye over the performance, testified a surprise at the dullness of his company,
seeing Nothing could; he said, possibly be plainer than the meaning of the
passage which they stuck at. This set all of us to puzzling again, but with
like success; we frankly owned we could not find it out, and desired he would
explain it. "Explain it?" said the gentleman. "Why, he means
Nothing."
In
fact, this mistake arises from a too vulgar error among persons unacquainted
with the mystery of writing, who imagine it impossible that a man should sit
down to write without any meaning at all. Whereas, in reality, nothing is more
common; for, not to instance myself, who have confessedly set down to write
this essay with Nothing in my head, or, which is much the same thing, to write
about Nothing, it may be incontestably proved, ab effectu, that Nothing
is commoner among the moderns. The inimitable author of a preface to the"
Posthumous Eclogues" of a late ingenious young gentleman says:
"There are men who sit down to write what they think, and others to think
what they shall write. But, indeed, there is a third and much more numerous
sort, who never think either before they sit down or afterward, and who, when
they produce on paper what was before in their heads, are sure to produce
Nothing." ….
Nothing
contains so much dignity as Nothing. Ask an infamous, worthless nobleman (if
any such be) in what his dignity consists. It may not, perhaps, be consistent
with his dignity to give you an answer; but suppose he should be willing to
condescend so far, what could he in effect say? Should he say he had it from
his ancestors, I apprehend a lawyer would oblige him to prove that the virtues
to which this dignity was annexed descended to him. If he claims it is inherent
in the title, might he not be told that a title originally implied dignity, as
it implied the presence of those virtues to which dignity is inseparably annexed-but
that no implication will fly in the face of downright positive proof to the
contrary? In short, to examine no farther, since his endeavour to derive it
from any other fountain would be equally impotent, his dignity arises from
Nothing, and in reality is Nothing.
A
man must have very little discernment who can live long in courts or populous
cities without being convinced of the great dignity of Nothing; and though he
should, through corruption or necessity, comply with the vulgar worship and
adulation, he will know to what it is paid namely, to Nothing.
The most astonishing instance of this respect so
frequently paid to Nothing is when it is paid (if I may so express myself) to
something less than Nothing; when the person who receives it is not only void
of the quality for which he is respected, but is in reality notoriously guilty
of the vices directly opposite to the virtues whose applause he receives. This
is, indeed, the highest degree of Nothing, or
(if I may be allowed the word) the Nothingest of all Nothings.
…
As Nothing is the end of the world, so it is of everything
in the world. Ambition, the greatest, highest, noblest, finest, most heroic and
Godlike of all passions, what doth it end in? Nothing. What did Alexander, Ceasar,
and all the rest of that heroic band who have plundered and massacred so many
millions, obtain by all their care, labour, pain, fatigue, and danger? Could
they speak for themselves, must they not own that the end of all their pursuit
was Nothing? Nor is this the end of private ambition alone. What is become of
that proud mistress of the world-caput triumphati orbis-that Rome of
which her own flatterers so liberally prophesied the immortality? In what has
all her glory ended? Surely in Nothing….
Seeing that such is its dignity and importance, and
that it is really the end of all those things which are supported with so much
pomp and solemnity and looked on with such respect and esteem, surely it
becomes a wise man to regard Nothing with the utmost awe and adoration; to
pursue it with all his parts and pains; and to sacrifice to it his ease, his
innocence, and his present happiness. To which noble pursuit we have this great
incitement, that we may rest assured of never being cheated or deceived in the
end proposed. The virtuous, wise, and learned may then be unconcerned at all
the changes of ministries and of government; since they may be well satisfied
that, while ministers of State are rogues themselves, and have inferior knavish
tools to bribe and reward, true virtue, wisdom, learning, wit, and integrity
will most certainly bring their possessors-Nothing.
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