Met His Match

He had fought the polar bear
And the lion in his lair,
He had monkeyed with gorillas on the shores of Benguela;
With a boa constrictor big
He had often danced a jig,
And he kept a petted monster of the dread name of Gila.

He had ridden on the tail
Of a North Pacific whale,
He'd attended shark reunions off the coast of Madagascar;
He had flipped the heel and toe
With an elephant or so,
And had fought a dozen duels with the deep and deadly Lascar.

But he took himself a wife
In the very prime of life,
And she sent him out for ribbons and some things that he might fetch her;
And he started on a hop
To the very nearest shop;
But just fifteen minutes later he was brought home on a stretcher.

-Thomas L. Masson