Absolute knowledge I have none,
But my niece's washerwoman's son
Heard a policeman on his beat
Say to a laborer in the street
That he had a letter last week
Written in the finest Greek,
From a Chinese coolie in Timbuctoo,
Who said that the niggers in Cuba knew
Of a colored man in a Texas town,
Who got it straight from a circus clown,
That a man in the Klondike heard the news
From a gang of South American Jews,
Who heard of a society female rake,
Whose mother-in-law will undertake
To prove that her husband's sister knows,
As stated in a printed piece,
That she has a son, who has a friend
Who knows when the war is going to end
But my niece's washerwoman's son
Heard a policeman on his beat
Say to a laborer in the street
That he had a letter last week
Written in the finest Greek,
From a Chinese coolie in Timbuctoo,
Who said that the niggers in Cuba knew
Of a colored man in a Texas town,
Who got it straight from a circus clown,
That a man in the Klondike heard the news
From a gang of South American Jews,
Who heard of a society female rake,
Whose mother-in-law will undertake
To prove that her husband's sister knows,
As stated in a printed piece,
That she has a son, who has a friend
Who knows when the war is going to end
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